Last January 29, 2011, our Baby Lourdes was stillborn. She was 30 weeks.
A stillbirth occurs when a fetus dies in the uterus, after 20 weeks gestation or the baby weighs more than 400 grams (14 oz). The causes of a large percentage of human stillbirths remain unknown, even in cases where extensive testing & autopsy have been performed. In cases where the cause is unknown, some possibilities of the cause of death are: bacterial infection, birth defects, maternal diabetes, RH disease, etc.
With Lourdes, she started with having fluid in her heart and had nuchal edema. The ultrasound confirmed that she had hydrops and had complete heart block. My doctors already prepared me on what could happen. If in case I deliver her full term, she might need a pacemaker or it's also possible that she won't make it. We were praying really hard for a miracle that she will make it and was very hopeful since she was very malikot in my tummy and also whenever we have an ultrasound, her results are always very good. Even to the last ultrasound we had on January 24, her biometrics score was 8/8. So we thought that she was finally okay. We even saw her through 4D, she was playing, eating and even looked like she was kissing my tummy.
Sadly, Tuesday morning was the last time I felt her move. There was no movement the whole day, which made me worry that the last kick might have been her way of saying goodbye. True enough, the following day, January 26, we confirmed that she was gone. It was so difficult to accept since just 2 days ago, she was completely okay.
The most painful part was when I saw my husband cry so hard for the first time and how to explain it to our 4 year old daughter. She was already ready to be an "ate". She already had plans on how she was going to take care of her little sister and the places they will visit together. Right from the very start, Rianna already developed a special bond with her little sister. Everyday she would speak to my tummy and say, "ate, loves you". When we got home from the hospital that night, it's as if Rianna knew there was something wrong, she kept on asking if the baby was okay. And if the doctor said that Lourdes was going to be okay. We didn't know what to tell her.
January 27, I was admitted to the hospital. I was given something so my cervix will open since I'm not really due yet for delivery. The following day, I had to stay at the High Risk Pregnancy Unit of St. Lukes because they started to induce me already. The long wait for me to deliver her was really depressing. I was going through all this knowing that when I deliver, my baby is gone. Finally, early morning of January 29, 3:35am to be exact, I gave birth to our Lourdes.
We had her cremated and she's here with us now at home. I know someday, we have to bury her but for now I want her beside me. She's our little angel now. I know she's with the Lord and she's watching over us.
Good bye Lourdes, we love you very much!
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